1. |
satellite
02:32
|
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|
i want you to love me,
but i know you'll never love me
i want you to need me,
but i know you'll never need me
i want you to want me,
but i know you'll never want me
and i'm so sick of breathing
and i'm so sick of breathing
and i'm so sick of breathing in
the memory of a moment
the memory of a moment
that never meant a damn thing to you.
i wish that you would see me,
but i know you'll never see me -
see me for who i really am
i'll just keep on spinning
but my orbit is decaying
the farther that i get from you
and i'm so sick of spinning
and i'm so sick of spinning
and i'm so sick of spinning around you
like a tiny satellite
blinking blinking through the night
waiting to be in your line of sight
there was a moment
a tiny little moment
but that time is long since past
and i'll wait for tomorrow,
i'll wait for tomorrow
but i know that i'll be waiting all my life
the dark of space surrounds me,
the cold that always finds me
and i'm running out of oxygen
i need you to release me,
cut the tether finally
let me drift off into the stars
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2. |
misaligned
02:36
|
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|
sunlight through the trees, a reprieve
a world away from my fears
the only time i can breathe
is when i'm out here
i stumble on the rocks, but it's okay
as long as i keep going, i'll make it through today
the world is so off-kilter, misaligned
and i can't stop the spinning, though i've tried
don't leave me standing here, this air between
your heart and mine, the loss of all this heat
trying to plan for a future i can't see
i'm still waiting for the day when i'm staring back at me
i need to make a change, shed this skin
meet the person waiting underneath
i'm not sure who i'll find
or if i'll need to leave anything behind
the person i'm becoming matters more
than so far i've given credit for
they've been patient, they've been true
but they can't hide forever to keep protecting you
don't leave me standing here, this air between
your heart and mine, the loss of all this heat
trying to plan for a future i can't see
i'm still waiting for the day when i'm staring back at me
|
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3. |
falling
01:40
|
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|
you rub salt in the wound
as you enter the room
and i'm falling
you don't have to play nice,
you're my favorite vice
and i'm falling
there's no rules left to break
you're a lovely mistake
and i'm falling
if i think too much
i won't want this touch
so i'm stalling
don't speak, i won't cry
but i'm poisoned inside
cause i'm failing
i betrayed my whole life
for myself, it's just spite
and i'm hurting
throw away these 10 years
for the sum of my fears
i'm a coward
i'm falling for you
because you're something new
i'm a tease, i'm a toy
i will seek and destroy
all the things i hold dear
and i'll bury them here
in my heart, in my mind
and this won't heal with time
i will only block out
all the guilt and the doubt
but it's always there
underneath the repair
and i'm falling
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4. |
for you, i lied
03:18
|
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|
sketches in old notebooks
but i can't remember when
your face in profile,
a specific place
front steps, city hum
cicadas buzz, summer sun
it wasn't love
i couldn't keep it contained
tore open my chest
gave what was inside to you
you crushed it and left
not sure what the right thing to say
would have been
but your silence laid heavy
and thick across my skin
turn this memory over, rusted with age
keep these words in my mouth
or at least on the page
i couldn't keep it contained
tore open my chest
gave what was inside to you
you crushed it and left
i couldn't keep it inside
it spilled out, but i lied
i said i didn't love you, but i did
for you, i held it in
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5. |
save a place
02:20
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|
don't wanna be
that person anymore
too many drinks
as many as you'll pour
fights with you
because i cannot say
all the things i feel
without a buzz in me
i've had
enough of this
it's time to stop digging
and deal with it
leave a light on,
save a place for me
i'll gladly take
what you can offer me
the bitterness is gone,
it's finally okay
it isn't love,
but it's good anyway
i've had
enough of this
it's time to stop digging
and deal with it
the bullshit
from all those years ago -
i think i'm finally ready
to let it go
|
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6. |
||||
|
if i sing, maybe this pain will stop
if i sing, maybe this pain will stop
if i sing, if i sing, if i sing
if i try, will it just make the ache worse?
if i try, am i just setting myself up for hurt?
if i try, if i try, if i try
if i can't feel, am i even real?
|
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7. |
sober
02:23
|
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8. |
waiting
03:23
|
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|
how do i stay sane
while the world around me fades?
how do i leave these woods
while the ground where i stood
is lined with fissures deep and dark and still
how do i keep going on
when the places i loved are gone?
i've stayed still so long
i don't know how to move on,
limbs heavy with the weight of old mistakes
i'm still waiting for you
waiting for you to walk in the room
waiting's all i ever do
i'll wait as long as i need to.
what if i'm out of words?
what if sadness stole them all
and what if this well inside dries up
and i'm left alone with these thoughts
with nowhere for them to go
i can't cut the darkness out
so i'll learn to live with it
pull myself up off the floor
try to become something more
knit that sorrow into something warm
i'm still waiting for you
waiting for you to walk in the room
waiting's all i ever do
i'll wait as long as i need to.
i'm still waiting for you
waiting for you to tell me what to do
waiting's all i have of you
i'll wait as long as i need to
i'll wait as long as i need to
i'll wait as long as i need to.
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9. |
||||
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in the other room,
i'll see you soon
can't ask for help
when i hate myself.
like pine pitch,
anxiety sticks
can't wash it away
ruins my day
you're more than i deserve
in this fucked up world
i don't know what to say
you stay anyway.
------
it always feels like we're running out of time
so fuck it, let's go smoke outside
words form plumes of heated breath
and secrets that are no longer kept
the world may stop spinning
when i close my eyes
so let's spend our remaining time
under stars and sky
|
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leaving lost Fitchburg, Massachusetts
diy pop, post-rock, and general weirdness from central massachusetts. queerness, feelings, and guitar pedals.
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